It’s first date time, and you’re so excited! You’ve been talking online for a while and can’t wait to meet in person. The last thing you want to do is ruin the date, so we’ve compiled a list of the top ten worst things you can do on a first date to help you out.
1. Look just like your photo, but 10 years older.
Guess what?! Yep, you were a total hottie ten years ago (we all were) but you really don’t look like that anymore, and posting old photos screams dishonesty and low self esteem. Plus, no matter how attractive you are now, by posting those photos you’re basically asking for your date to be disappointed when you show up.
2. Flirt with someone other than your date.
Hey, I get it-sometimes your waitress or bartender is really hot and it’s not your fault that they’re coming on to you, but focus your attention on the person you’re with. Who wants to go on a date with someone who is flirting with or checking out other people? You can always sneak back to the bar later-just kidding.
3. Manners? What manners?
Curse like a sailor, forget to say please and thank you, be rude to the service staff, chew with your mouth open, burp, slurp and shove food in your mouth like you haven’t eaten in days…god I am so turned on just thinking about it, aren’t you?
4. Tell a woman that she reminds you of your mother, or a guy that he is JUST like your daddy!
Most of us love our parents to the moon and back, but comparing our dates to them alludes to the fact that you’re searching for a mother or father figure, and nobody wants that responsibility. Yay mommy and daddy issues!
5. Keep using your cell phone
Have you ever tried having a conversation with someone who is repeatedly texting or talking on their phone? “Oh sorry, hold on- tell me that funny, personal, deeply touching story in a sec. I just need to answer this call.”
6. Talk too much about your pet
Like most people who love their animals, words cannot describe how much I adore my little chihuahua Bella. I’m borderline obsessed with her, but I keep it under wraps. I don’t carry around photos of her, or talk about the latest disgusting thing she did. Don’t be the crazy dog or cat lady (or guy!)
7. Ask them how much money they make
You might as well get a tattoo that says “GOLD DIGGER” across your forehead, because even if you swear that’s not how you meant it, of course it is.
8. Proudly mention how much progress you’re making in therapy
Nothing wrong with a good therapy session, don’t get me wrong. But save the shrink talk for your inner circle, not some dude you just met on the internet.
9. Bring up your ex
Eagerly discuss how your date reminds you of your ex, the restaurant reminds you of your ex, the music playing in the background reminds you of your ex. Bonus points if you rehash your break-up in great detail.
10. Drink so much that your date has to take care of you. Extra points if you do any of the following-
Vomit
Black out
Start a bar fight
Happy dating!
