Some men are guilty of using cheesy chat-up lines to initiate conversation with women, such as: “Do you have a map? I just keep getting lost in your eyes” or “Well, here I am. What are your other two wishes?”
If you’re a victim of such horrendous chat, it’s important that you’re armed with a good comeback. Here’s a list of forty of the funniest put-downs.
1) Man: “Your place or mine?” Woman: “Both – you go to yours, I go to mine.”
2) Man: “I know how to please a woman.” Woman: “Then please leave me alone.”
3) Man: “Can I have your phone number?” Woman: “Have you got a pen?” Man: “Yes”. Woman: “Well get back in it before the farmer notices you’re missing”.
4) I like your approach, now let’s see your departure.
5) They say that space is a dangerous place…especially if it’s between your ears.
6) If I throw a stick, will you leave?
7) Some people are has-beens. You’re a never-was.
8) Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all stupid people.
9) I’d be happy to help you out. What way did you come in?
10) Who left your cage open?
11) I’m not as dumb as you look.
12) Did you eat an extra bowl of stupid this morning?
13) You are so boring that you can’t even entertain a doubt.
14) You’ve got a great weapon against muggers…your face!
15) You’re proof that evolution can go in reverse.
16) I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.
17) Well hello there…tall, dark and obnoxious!
18) You are depriving some poor village of its idiot.
19) Some day you’ll go far…if you catch the right train.
20) You have a face only a mother could love – and she hates it!
21) With those muscles, I can see you are as strong as an ox, and almost as intelligent!
22) You would be out of your depth in a puddle.
23) I’m busy right now, can I ignore you another time?
24) Your IQ’s lower than your shoe size.
25) You’re dark and handsome….when it’s dark, you’re handsome.
26) Don’t worry, I’m fluent in weirdo.
27) I would engage you in a battle of wits but I refuse to duel with an unarmed person.
28) You’ve got a striking face…how many times were you struck there?
29) Not the sharpest tool in the shed, are you?
30) You’ve got that faraway look. The farther away you go, the better you look.
31) I’d call you a tool, but even THEY serve a purpose.
32) You think you’re a wit, and you’re probably half right.
33) Are you always this stupid, or are you making a special effort today?
34) I would love to insult you, but you probably wouldn’t understand.
35) You’re about as sharp as a bowling ball.
36) You’re the type of guy who would eat soup with a fork.
37) Man: “Excuse me, is this seat free?” Woman: “Yes, but if you sit in it, my seat will be free instead.”
38) Keep talking, someday you’ll say something intelligent!
39) I’d like to give you a going-away present…but you have to do your part.
40) I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
So there you have it – forty great ways to put a guy in his place. Remember these wise words and never be stumped again when faced with a guy who uses lines that are cheesier than Stilton.
