Your Dating Profile
Online dating is fast becoming the most effective way to meet people. However, since it’s grown in popularity and is no longer as regarded a slightly ‘off the wall’ way to get a date, the competition is increasingly fierce and it’s now essential that, when online dating, people take time to ensure their profile is as well put together as possible.
The first thing a person sees when looking at a profile is your photo. This needs to be current, clear and welcoming (no dogs or children please and for Heavens sake boys, keep your tops on!) However, the idea of a good photo is to entice a person to delve a bit further, to take the time to read your profile and find about a bit more about the person they are (hopefully!) going to message.
You need more than a good photo.
Imagine your photo as your restaurant shop front. The better it looks the more likely a person is to come in and order a meal. Good lighting, nice layout, top location? Great, you’ve got your customers. But serve them bad food when they’re there, or a poor uninspiring menu and they’re unlikely to order, least of all return.
Start thinking about your profile in the same way – your profile picture as your style and your written profile as your substance – both are equally as important. l am often surprised at how many people neglect their written profile. Either too brief, littered with typos or swamped in smiley faces and exclamation marks. Your profile was your 30 seconds to sell yourself to the world! Would you fill in a job application and not double check it? Or apply for a position and not take the time to tell a prospective employer why you’re the guy or gal for the job? No. Then why, when looking for love, would you not take the time to make sure your profile presents you in the best light possible?
Take the time to write a good profile which stands out from the crowd and you’ll be amazed at the response you’ll get.
I’ll be the first to admit that sitting down to write a few paragraphs about yourself can feel the same of being asked to ‘tell a joke’ or ‘say something interesting’ we are all funny and interesting are we not? However, having to ‘dance on demand’ can be difficult and when it comes to attracting a potential date – a little daunting. Fear not, there are certain easy to follow rules that go towards ensuring your written profile is a good one, I can’t guarantee hilarity but I can offer you some tips on creating a profile that will do your fabulous personality justice – and not a knock-knock joke in sight.
Be specific.
There are certain profile fails that should be avoided at all costs, being too negative or pretentious, being too laid back and casual, using the terms ‘babe,’ confusing your with you’re, swearing or thinking that emoticons are an acceptable ways to wrap up a sentence, to name but a few. These are easily corrected and although being able to spell and not spending two-thirds of your profile talking about your dog is recommended, nay, essential, when writing an online dating profile, they won’t necessarily say a great deal about your personality.
What will say a lot about your personality is detail. If you’re not getting the messages you hoped for despite having a well written profile and can’t figure out why, remember it’s the golden rule of ‘detail’ that will transform your online dating experience from baron to bustling.
Emoticons and dog descriptions aside, the most common mistake I see in online dating is the lack of detail in profiles.
And whilst I understand that when you introduce yourself as ‘just a normal kind of guy’ you are trying to sound down to earth but what it actually makes you sound is pretty boring. Girls don’t want just a normal kind of guy, they want someone fun and different!
Likewise reeling off a list of adjectives is totally pointless. ‘I’m funny … adventurous … happy … sensual … honest … caring … dedicated,’ the list is endless and all a total waste of profile space. Yes, you may well be all of these things but who’s going to say otherwise? If you’re funny be funny, if you’re adventurous, give us an example ‘I love winter sports and have skied since I was 10 although I tried snow-boarding for the first time last year and loved it!’ tells me much more about you than an adjective. Honest? Only time will tell, — and sensual? Enough already.
‘I love life’
Another classic mistake that people make when writing a profile is to over-use clichés that we’ve all read a million times before. You love life? Well, I’d hope so! ‘Life is for living’ ‘My glass is always half-full’ ‘I love new experiences’ Be more specific! What is it you love about life? Travel? Work? Your family? Ashtanga Yoga? ‘I spend much of my spare time travelling abroad and wine tasting in South Africa this summer was a particular highlight!’ says far more to me about your joie de vivre than ‘I love life’ and is an easy lead for a question – ‘That sounds fun! What winery did you go to/what kind of wine do you like?’ … You catch my drift.
It’s virtually impossible to comment on a profile with no detail. Not only is it unimaginative and gives the reader no insight into you as a person but it makes it very difficult for your potential matches to respond.
It’s not the size of the ship.
Or to put another way, a short interesting profile with a bit of details is far more effective than a long, rambling list of adjectives.
John says –
“I’m a warm, genuine,affectionate guy who is also kind, caring and honest, or so I have been told. I am of average build, brown hair and blue eyes. My interests include going to the cinema, pubs, bars, restaurants and spending a cosy night in every so often. I am looking for a warm, genuine, affectionate girl who shares similar interests.”
Any takers? No, I thought not.
Peter says –
“I’m not looking for an average woman, nor do I consider myself to be your average guy. I’m an usual mix of extrovert/introvert, art/science, left and right brain. I’ve made big changes recently in lifestyle and direction. Decided to leave the City (after too many years) to follow a more creative path. I’m completing my MA in Fine Art at present as a full time student which is a both a challenge and a huge joy. What’s important to me, is someone who can think creatively about life and love, relationships and family.”
Now you’re talking!
So, by giving a bit of detail Peter has not only offered us an insight into his personality but he has also given us plenty of scope to ask a leading question. Of course, we’re not all art buffs and might reel at the thought of dating a full-time student. But isn’t that the point of a profile? A way of matching people with similar interests and personalities so, while Peter should expect responses from girls he has things in common with who are keen to know more about his creativity and change in direction, John should expect to stare are his phone wondering if his dating app is broken because he hasn’t had a message for three weeks.
Your detail doesn’t have to be earth shattering. We are not expecting you to be chairing UN talks at the White House next week, or training for your 18th iron man competition, we just want to know what makes you different from everyone else – that you enjoy comedy nights at your local pub and find John Bishop hilarious, that you once donated your kidney to your sister or that you’ve recently taken up ice-skating in a bid to get fit. Think out of the box and get creative!
We’ve all got a story to tell, more about ourselves than being ‘funny’, honest’, ‘reliable’ or ‘kind’. You want to have more success when online dating? Throw us a curve ball and make us want more. There’s more to you than adjectives.
