Made famous by the movie Wedding Crashers, a stage 5 clinger is “a member of the opposite sex that is likely to become overly attached, overly fast. Virgins, those on the rebound, and the emotionally fragile are more likely to have this term applied to them.”
Sounds sexy, right? Wrong.
So how do you know if you’re a stage 5 clinger?
You’re a cyber stalker-do you find yourself constantly refreshing his or her facebook or twitter pages? Do you check out all their friends photos and get jealous over things posted on their walls? Do you show up to the places they checked into on Foursquare? If yes…congratulations..you might be a stalker. Step away from the Internet, get some fresh air and stop being a creep!
You’re attached to your phone-if you find yourself hitting redial for hours upon hours or calling them from blocked numbers so they can’t screen your call, you’re a clinger. If you are constantly checking to see if they’ve contacted you, and become so obsessed with hearing from them that you can’t function, you’re definitely a clinger. Remember-if someone wants to talk to you, they will. And nobody wants to talk to a psycho.
You’re a total guilt trip-if you try to guilt someone into spending time with you, or pull stunts so they will feel obligated to be a part of your life, you’re forcing them to be there-and that’s ultimately not what you want. Don’t be a drama queen…you shouldn’t have to guilt anyone into being with you.
You embellish about our relationship, or lack of one-do you tell people you’re dating someone, when in reality he’s never spoken a word to you? Pretending something is more than it is not only makes you look incredibly shady, but it’s a bit delusional and doesn’t do you any good in the long run. Plus, you’re blowing your chances from the beginning if he finds out you’ve been spreading stories. Let things develop-you can’t force anything, no matter how badly you want to.
