January is the time of year when we all start to reflect on the year gone by and make resolutions on how we can improve our lives. Forget binning your chocolate stash or spending a fortune on a new gym membership – when was the last time you made a resolution that related to your love life?
Dating Resolutions
Many singletons feel a touch of the holidays blues around Christmas time and New Year’s Eve, with romantic couples everywhere and no one to cosy up to. Those mistletoe moments, the kisses at midnight and the soundtrack of Elvis singing “it’ll be lonely this Christmas…” Well it’s time to look on the bright side! With over 7 billion people in the world, your ideal partner is out there somewhere, so it’s not all doom and gloom. It may sound like a cliché but a new year means a new start and who knows who you might be celebrating with this time next year?
I asked 25 people to tell me their new year’s love resolutions – here’s what they said:
1) “Finding love would be nice…and making a relationship more of a priority in my life rather than work and other trivialities.”
2) “Stop using Tinder! I haven’t met any normal guys on there!”
3) “Be more confident and outspoken, follow my heart and believe in my own talents.”
4) “I aim to go on some dates this year! Other than that, just be myself I think! There may be someone out there who is daft enough to put up with me.”
5) “Hmmm…dating resolution – to stop! I’m tired of feeling bad when these things end!”
6)“If something bothers me, I need to talk about it and tell the other person rather than keeping things bottled up.”
7) “I’ve dated a lot of losers this past year, so maybe my new year’s resolution needs to be to date guys who aren’t my usual type!”
8)“My new year’s love resolution is to actually date! I’ve been so focussed on work that I haven’t had time to date anyone recently!”
9) “I sometimes think maybe I need to stop being so fussy.”
10) “I guess just being more honest with people I’m dating and saying how I feel instead of going quiet if I don’t like them.”
11) “I want to fall in love this year. I dated a couple of guys I liked last year, but when I looked back on our text conversations, I realised maybe I played a bit too hard to get and let things fizzle out before they’d even begun.”
12) “Stop judging guys by date three and give them more of a chance! I was very picky last year and had a habit of ditching guys if I didn’t feel a strong connection on the third date.”
13) “Getting over my ex would be a good start! I need to stop comparing every girl I meet to her.”
14) “No resolutions as such for me, I think what I’m doing has been ok, it’s more about just hoping I’ll find the right girl this year.”
15) “My new year’s love resolution is to stop being so pessimistic when it comes to dating!”
16) “I want to get out there more and stop waiting for Mr Right to appear, instead make more of an active effort.”
17) “Difficult question! Well, I tend to go to the same bars every weekend and see the same people, so perhaps I should make the effort to find some new places to go.”
18) “My new year’s love resolution is to stop looking! I think I’m trying too hard!”
19) “Find other places to meet people other than on a night out with mates. Maybe I’ll try some dating events.”
20) “Hmm when it comes to Tinder, there are so many conversations that just don’t go anywhere or matches where we don’t even talk. I should probably make the first move and say hi or something or suggest meeting up rather than always waiting for the guy to do it.”
21) “I’m not a resolution guy…you know me, I’m an old-school guy. I do think my approach is good and morally sound, so it’s just about finding the right girl.”
22) “I think I need to stop holding out for Prince Charming, and give other guys a chance. Sometimes after the first date, I decide too soon that a guy doesn’t tick all the boxes.”
23) “My new year’s love resolution is to stop being shy when it comes to asking girls out. I guess that’s just the fear of rejection, I don’t know.”
24)“I need to stop being so hung up on being single.”
25) “My new year’s love resolution is to date relationship bloggers only!”
Alicia: Haha top marks for originality. Maybe I’ll become a new year matchmaker!
Interesting answers! Thanks to everyone who shared their thoughts. The most popular answers seem to be – as simple as it sounds, to actually date in the first place! Many people confessed that they weren’t making love a priority or were just waiting for it appear in front of them – so if that’s you, let this be the year that you keep love at the forefront of your mind and make time to date. If you’ve never tried online dating – WeLoveDates is right in front of you!
Other people commented on how it wasn’t the lack of dating that was the problem, but instead the fact they were being too picky. It’s easy to fall into a pattern of having a ‘type’ (often ironically the wrong type, before we can see it for ourselves), so listen to your friends and if you’ve had a string of failed relationships – ask yourself if all of these people have something in common? If you recognise a particular non-physical trait, why try and go out of your way to date someone who doesn’t have the same trait?
If you’re guilty of falling into the trap of perpetually ‘looking for Prince Charming’ and trying too hard – be prepared to kiss a few frogs along the way! Remember – no one’s perfect and it’s often the flaws that make a person more endearing. The ‘perfect person’ doesn’t exist – so if you’re being too judgemental, forget your preconceptions and give that new person a chance.
For those of you who said they need to be more confident – spot on! Now you’ve recognised this, get out there and show the world why you’re such a catch, and most importantly, believe that you are.
…and finally, the people who said they are going to stop dating all together because of bad experiences – swap your soundtrack of ‘Lonely This Christmas’ for Michael Bublé’s ‘Haven’t Met You Yet.’
If you’re looking to drop bad habits, check out these 9 dating habits to leave behind in 2014.
