Finally! Something to address post-one-night-fuck awkwardness. It’s called the half night stand. It’s has been invented for people who don’t have time for unsatisfactory hook-ups, who want to avoid the embarrassing walk of shame, or for those who want their needs met without the game playing.
Sexual Dissatisfaction
But it’s the up-front modern woman who’s giving zero fucks about a man who didn’t get her bedroom antics memo. Instead of whatsapping her workmate in the morning asking to bring a fresh thong and some dry shampoo, the half-nighter gets a partial night’s sleep in their own bed, and washes away the residue of the unsatisfactory lay.
“I think we are so busy that we look for things that will satisfy us immediately. This is me and this is what I am looking for! As seen on a lot of dating sites. Half night stands = immediate gratification, obviously 😉 but for women I think it’s a self-esteem and need for intimacy thing. It’s assurance that we are sexy and desired and also our own affirmation that we don’t need a man full time in our lives”, says Luna, Fetish Model and Relationship Advisor.
“Damn if I’m going to play games with this guy. He’s hot, we have chemistry so let’s do the deed and call it a night”, says Monica.
Certified Relationship Coach, Chris Armstrong’s thoughts on this are simple. “It’s about time! We have needs. We want them met. We don’t always want or need them met with love or in a relationship. So why play games? Half the night is becoming a thing because casual sex is becoming more acceptable. For most people, staying the entire night was a matter of doing what they thought they had to do. This was especially true for women who, unlike their male counterparts, faced taboos for having and wanting to act out on purely physical desires. Now, women feel comfortable and confident about having their physical needs met on their terms.”
“Women are less satisfied during and after sex than men and after awhile, they’re just going to get it on their own terms. And, given their tire of the dating scene and the games, they want the space (independence) that comes with one/half night stands afterwards. More women explore one/half night stands to figure themselves out than men”, he adds.
When surveyed recently, some men think they have all the answers about being half-nighted, which makes for some frantic eye-rolling. Being a bad shag was definitely not one of the reasons they thought their half night stand had left the building. One womaniser found it hard to believe that a female could be the instigator of a half night stand too.
“I meet a girl around 8pm… by 11pm I am kicking her out of my flat and then between 12pm and 3am I hunt for another girl. That’s what I’d call a half night stand.”
Some men, don’t seem to be complaining about the practice of half night stands. In a recent Reddit discussion, one male user backed up by various others, commented…
“As soon as I cum, I generally don’t want to want to see her anymore so I like that they are making the process easier for the both of us.”
“For men, I think one/half-night stands are about gratification (75%), bragging rights (20%) and figuring themselves out (5%). Men want to be able to have their cake (sex) and eat it too (commitment free). For women, I think one/half night stands are about gratification (70%), independence (20%) and figuring themselves out (10%)”, says Chris Armstrong.
Where is women’s confidence to ditch those who don’t meet up with their sexual standards coming from? “Dating sites and apps have given women far more control. We can be more specific and demanding when we have even more people to choose from than your local pub allows! As women, we were expected to form attachments, be of a caring nature and desire long term relationships. I think this has changed massively due to our busy work and social lives. It’s acceptable to have more than one partner, to marry more than once, to indulge in instant gratification. Women can take the lead in relationships.” Says Luna.
Chris Armstrong adds, “sex and love can be mutually exclusive and society as a whole has finally warmed to this concept. Rihanna, Amy Schumer, Carrie Bradshaw and other pop cultural influencers have made sex, one night stands and women getting what they want in the bedroom both hip and essential. We loved you Meg Ryan but we relate to you no more!”
Nick Savoy, President of Love Systems and author of the Magic Bullets Handbook thinks, “technology facilitates behavior, but it doesn’t drive it. Dating and hook-up apps can make the process a lot easier, but it’s still the same process. You’re still usually going to meet in public, have a drink, get to know each other at least a little bit, etc., and if there’s chemistry you might hook up. That’s no different from the way it’s always been.”
A leading adult dating site specialising in facilitating hook-ups is NoStringsDating.net. They claim to have concrete evidence that half/one night stands really are becoming a thing for both sexes. They’ve created an interactive one night stand map which details which areas of the UK are bonking each other the most! They’ve found out that a huge 31% of the London population are into casual hookups, and London women are more likely to pursue casual sex in that city over any other place in the UK. It makes for surprising reading.
Clearly, the evidence is there that women are feeling empowered to seek and get their kicks, but speaking about the still apparent gender double standard is Susan L. Edelman, Psychiatrist and Author of Be Your Own Brand of Sexy: A New Sexual Revolution for Women. “The double standard is alive and well. In a paper published by the Department of Sociology at the University of Illinois, men were more likely than women to have a double standard. Women were more likely to think hooking up was OK for both sexes, although many students then lost respect for those who were hooking up ‘a lot’, whether they were men or women.”
Men on a reddit thread agreed in chorus with this comment… “Yeah the modern female has become basically a cum dumpster, so she is good for a cheap ONS thrill. Just don’t marry one of them, lol.” The double standard is indeed still alive and well.
“Stats show women are likely to decrease the number of people they have slept with and men increase the number when asked… says it all. Women still feel ashamed to have been seen as ‘loose’ or that their sexual needs are not seen as important as men’s…women are supposed to have self-control. We don’t, however, feel the need to brag about it” says Luna, Fetish Model and Relationship Advisor.
Chris Armstrong, Certified Relationship Coach, thinks “…more so than men, women are expected to see sex as an emotional, powerful joining of two bodies that goes beyond the act itself. This is really an antiquated view that is finally going the way of selfie sticks. When women experience a one/half night stand, they take back their bodies and erase the taboo and judgment stains that are left by others. They realize, “love doesn’t always have something to do with it. And you know what, I’m pretty damn hot in the sack!”
Netflix, chill, GTFO. We’re down with that.
