After being single for just over a year now I’ve realized that there are certain things that you should just never say to your single friends. As much as I know that these kinds of comments are (mostly) well-intentioned, they also kind of make me want to punch someone in the throat.
Here are some of my favourites:
1. “Maybe you’re too picky” – It’s true, I want to meet someone that I have things in common with, whom I’m attracted to and who is a good person, I don’t think that’s being picky, I think that’s being reasonable! Why would I want to go out with someone who didn’t fit that criteria?!
2. “I’m glad I’m not single anymore!” – Um, thanks. That makes me feel a better – NOT. When it comes to being single or attached, there’s positives and negatives on both sides of the fence. Stop pretending that being single is this big, bad, thing. It’s not.
3. “Beggars can’t be choosers. Sometimes you just have to settle” – Probably the most depressing piece of advice anyone has ever given me. I’m not “begging” for anything, which means I sure as heck get to be choosy. Why would I want to settle for someone who wasn’t right for me?!
4. “Aren’t you worried about your biological clock? Don’t you want to have children?” – Every time someone says this to me it makes me want to punch a whole through a wall. Yes, it sometimes crosses my mind that I might not meet the right person in time to have children. I certainly don’t need anyone to remind me that “my junk might go bad” before I meet Mr. Right (Real words from a married friend). Although I wouldn’t mind being a mother someday, I’m in no rush to have children with the wrong person. I’d rather wait until the time is right. What will be, will be. I’m not sad about this and you shouldn’t be either.
5. “The problem is that you always pick the wrong guys. You should try dating someone who is _________ (a certain look/profession/characteristic)” We’ve all dated people who weren’t right for us. However, trial and error is sometimes the only way to learn what IS right for us. Be patient.
6. If you’re online dating, “Maybe you need to try meeting people in person”, if you’re trying to meet people in person, “Maybe you need to try online dating!” – It’s annoying how non-singles always assume that single people don’t know what they are doing. Trust that your single girlfriend knows what she’s comfortable with and what works for her.
7. “I just don’t understand why you’re single”- Have you ever thought that maybe I’m single by choice?! Once again, I’d rather be alone than with someone who is wrong for me.
8. “I’m sorry”- There’s absolutely no need to apologize for my singleness. I’m happy with it, you should be too.
9. “Marriage is so awesome!” – Not helpful! Plus, I totally don’t buy this one. Every relationship has it’s challenges (but also amazing moments) I’m glad I have a few honest married friends who have pointed this out to me.
10. “Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll meet someone” (insert “sad eyes” here) – If you feel the need to make patronizing comments like this to your single friends, just don’t. We know we’re awesome, regardless of whether we meet someone or not.
What’s a comment you hate to hear as a single person?
